Thirty years ago, my old man sat me down at a booth in Tiny Nailor’s; a mid-century diner where each table had its own toaster and the waitresses owned stock in Aqua Net. He decided it was time to school me on what it takes to be a man.

As I pulled from my chocolate malt, he rambled on about responsibilities, hard work, and all that bullshit. The only thing I really remember about that conversation was this, he said, “Kiddo, I don’t care if you decide to be a trash collector or a train robber, just be the best damn train robber this world has ever seen.” Then he went to use the pay phone and left me with the bill. Those words stuck with me for years, and I tried and tried to figure out how I would ever live up to such high expectations.

I might have misunderstood what he was trying to tell me, looking back on it now, but all I really heard was, “You’re gonna be the best damn train robber ever.” I had no experience with train robberies up to that point, it’s not like he gave me any pointers, and it didn’t seem like it was a very popular crime in the ’80s. Why couldn’t I be a coke dealer or a bank robber at least, banks are everywhere and banks got all the money.

In 1990, I was 16, the Berlin Wall had just fallen, and I was dead broke. I was living in a roach-infested apartment, dining on chorizo, and Old Milwaukee. My Shovelhead had a dead piston, and my day job was 30 miles away. There would be no more talking my way out of missed shifts.

There was a guy I knew, Randy. He lived in a cabin in La Tuna Canyon, and he owed me a favor. He was a tweaker, I guessed. He had Hendersons and Excelsiors parked in his living room, but most of the time his power was shut off. I knew he wouldn’t have any cash to loan me, but I figured he might have a ride for me until I got the Shovel back on the road. Well he did, in his den, next to a stack of newspapers a mile high, was a crusty old Knucklehead.

It was in a wishbone frame, with a chrome springer, a Bates seat, and a peanut tank. I stood there for what seemed like an hour taking it all in. “Does it run?” I asked him, to which he replied “Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?” I never thought too much about one-legged ducks, but I guess the answer to that would be a big 10-4.

It was a stroker, with UL flywheels and an SU carb. He told me the bike had belonged to a brother of his, Jeffro out of Pacoima, who had to tuck it away when his ol’ lady started taking a hatchet to his belongings. I guess it officially became Randy’s when the aforementioned ol’ lady took a hatchet to Jeffro and then took a header off the freeway overpass.

“I can ride this sucker till my bike’s running?” I asked. He laughed. I guess my credit with him wasn’t quite that good. It was for sale, not for rent, and if I wanted it, I was going to have to step it up somehow and in some way. My father’s words rattled in my skull like a muffler bearing on a ’73 Super Beetle. I knew I had to finally become a man and make my old man proud.

There was a small container of electronics coming through Union Station on its way to Silicon Valley. I can’t get into any more detail for legal reasons, but I figured it would set me up for a long time and get my skinny ass in that crusty old Bates seat. I needed a partner, just like Butch and Sundance, so my friend, Chuey, put down his crack pipe long enough for us to hatch a scheme.

Long story short, things didn’t go exactly as planned. At the end of the day, we had scored a case of penicillin and a wristwatch. We managed to unload the medicine for 60 bucks on the black market, I threw the watch in my sock drawer, and that’s where it sat for the next few months.

See, Chuey had pinned the robbery on me when he got busted for possession. I never did any hard time, which is good because I was too good looking if you know what I mean. Taking my age into account, and no prior felonies, and considering overcrowding in the Filbert St. Juvenile facility, I ended up with five years probation and a slap on the wrist.

Well, I hadn’t scored that knucklehead, Randy had checked into the big tweak house in the sky, and the last I heard, the bike had ended up with some good ol’ boy somewhere near Fresno, but I did wear that wristwatch almost every day for a decade. After all, it told good time, and it was all I had to show for my hard work. It stopped ticking on Christmas day 2001. I threw it back in the sock drawer where it sat for another eight years until I took it in to have the windings checked out, and the watch man just stared at me like I had killed his poodle.

“What is it?” I asked. He told me it was a rare Swiss watch, a Patek Philippe, from 1925, and did I want to sell it, because if I did, he’d be willing to go 15 grand. I think I must have stared at him like he just killed my poodle, until I managed to utter the word “YES.”

Money was spent and money was made, I had blown a little on a few new pairs of Levis, some parts for my Ironhead, and paid some bills. Then, I got a phone call from an acquaintance that had just repossessed a pickup truck from some good ol’ boy just outside of Fresno. The dude was sitting on a ‘41 Knuck with a stroker motor in a wishbone frame and needed to unload it quick like to get his truck back. He asked if was I interested? Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?

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The clutch cable connects the clutch lever located on the left handlebar to the right side of your transmission. Inside the transmission, you will locate gearing that connects the cable over to the clutch. In order to change the clutch cable, you must open your transmission casing. This requires a basic understanding of Harley-Davidson mechanics to ensure you do not damage anything inside your transmission.

Things You’ll Need (Tap on items you have)

Wrench set

Allen wrench set

Drain pan

Transmission cover gasket

80/20 gear oil

Steps:

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Locate the clutch cable adjuster in the middle of the clutch cable. It has a rubber or chrome cover over it. Slide the cover up to expose the adjuster jam nut. Loosen the jam nut with a wrench, and turn the adjuster clockwise to add “free play” to the clutch lever. This means the clutch lever becomes loose.

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Pull the clutch level in to create slack in the clutch cable. Pull the ball on the end of the cable out of the clutch lever. This disconnects the clutch cable from the clutch lever.

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Locate the clutch cable clamp on the down tube on the front of the frame, and disconnect the clamp by loosening the setscrew with an Allen wrench. This releases the clutch cable from the down tube.

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Locate the drain plug on the left side of the transmission. It is an Allen screw, and it is positioned on the lower edge of the transmission. Remove the screw with an Allen wrench, and drain the gear oil into a drain pan. Tighten the screw back into place once drained.

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Remove the bolts that secure the transmission cover to the side of the transmission with an Allen wrench. Remove the cover and the metal gasket.

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Remove the ball from the clutch cable seat.

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Locate the 1-inch long hex coupler on the left side of the transmission where the cable goes into the transmission. The cable goes through the coupler. Turn the coupler counterclockwise with a wrench to loosen the coupler’s grip on the cable. Pull the clutch cable out of the transmission, and discard it.

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Slide the new clutch cable through the coupler, and connect the ball on the end of the cable to the clutch cable seat. Tighten the coupler by turning it clockwise with a wrench.

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Secure the clutch cable to the down tube on the frame using the clamp and Allen wrench.

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Connect the ball on the end of the cable to the clutch lever, and pull the lever back into the uncompressed location.

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Loosen the jam nut on the clutch cable adjuster, and thread the adjuster counterclockwise to remove “free play” from the clutch lever. Stop adjusting when you have approximately a quarter-inch of “free play” travel on the clutch lever.

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Thread the jam nut against the bottom of the adjuster, and tighten it in place using the wrench. Slide the adjuster cover over the adjuster.

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Place the new transmission cover gasket onto the transmission, and place the cover on top of it. Secure both into place with the Allen bolts and Allen wrench.

14 of 14

Remove the filler plug located on the top of the transmission using an Allen wrench. Drain three-fourths of a container of gear oil into the transmission. Check the dipstick on the filler plug, and add oil as needed. Close the filler plug.

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The West Coast Thunder fundraiser is gearing up for its Memorial Day ride.

Scott Wilson and Tim Davis of Wilson Associates organized a golf tournament for the benefit of the Riverside National Cemetery Support Committee, through West Coast Thunder at General Old Golf Course, on Feb. 5. This charity event netted a $7,621.15 check for the Riverside National Cemetery Support Committee.

What began 13 years ago, as a few hundred bikes gathering together in front of Skip Fordyce Harley-Davidson in Riverside, riding, parade fashion, to the Riverside National Cemetery, now attracts an estimated 5,500 to 7,000 motorcycles each year.

Since Sept. 11, 2001, organizers now begin the motorcade promptly at 9:11 a.m. each year. The Riverside Police Department and a Vietnam vintage Huey helicopter escort the parade. The color guard carrying the American flag, service flags, POW/MIA and other commemorative flags lead this processional with city and county officials and other dignitaries riding in convertibles, followed by thousands of motorcycles.

All proceeds from the ride raises money for the benefit the Riverside National Cemetery Support Committee. West Coast Thunder has been the major contributor of more than $350,000 to the cemetery. Completed projects include construction of the National POW/MIA Memorial (dedicated in 2005), repairs to the National Congressional Medal of Honor Memorial, financial support to the cemetery’s Memorial Honor Detail, and funding each July of the “Concert for Heroes.”

These financial gifts have also funded cemetery projects that include purchasing flower cones in honor of indigent and unaccompanied, homeless veterans buried each month with the placement of a bouquet of flowers and an American flag on their grave.

Each year thousands of local and nearby area residents line the streets with their families, dogs, lawn chairs and wave American and service flags, cheering the motorcycles as they roar down the parade route.

The West Coast Thunder event does not end at the cemetery, as the riders proceed to the Soboba Hotel and Casino for a musical tribute to veterans. This year, Uncle Kracker is the headliner of the show with The Farm paving the way.

Residents don’t have to ride a motorcycle to be a part of this event. They may watch from the parade route and at Riverside National Cemetery, and/or drive out to Soboba Casino and enjoy the show. Concert tickets are available at the door for $40.

Registration and information: westcoastthunder.com

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